The Urban Orchardist

It’s not all pigs and roses around here. Lately I’ve been having some troubles on the ye old urban farme. First, I finally moved the chicks–now teen chickens–out onto the deck. When I picked up their brooder box, I saw that I had ruined my hardwood floors. File that under F-ing Hell. My landlord is going to kill me. I guess it’s from the heat of the chickens which condensates water which then buckles the floorboards. Later my friend Max said it’s no big deal and he’ll help me fix it. In the meantime, it’s like a frozen seismic wave in my living room.

Then the sweet and gentle next door neighbors complained that the pigs smell. “My little girl,” he pointed to his adorable little munchkin, “was in the backyard and almost vomited from the smell.” I crouched down and said sorry to the angel. She giggled. I felt like the world’s biggest ass. I’m on a major cleaning regimen for the piggers, and have been putting down extra bags of sawdust and coffee hulls to mask the odor. The worst thing is, I can’t even smell them anymore. I might start burning incense. I brought the neighbors some roses from the farmer’s market and said the pigs will be gone by September 8, and could I please give them some pork chops?

We bid farewell to our awesome couchsurfing.com visitors. Joe, Paul, and Naoise–all from Ireland–camped out in our guest room for a week, and helped out on the urban farm tremendously. A delivery of 5 yards of dirt did not daunt them, they got out the buckets and spread the love all over the garden. Amazingly, they actually wanted to go dumpster diving with us. They couldn’t believe the bread dumpster. “If there was one of these in Dublin,” Paul said, “I’d never buy bread again.” They were all vegetarian but we didn’t freak them out too much with our meat farm. Naoise pointed out that most carnivores never know what they’re eating. They only got mugged once (what can you do?) when a guy came to the door when I wasn’t home and told them they had to pay extra rent for staying at our house. At first they were freaked out, but then it became a good story to tell, a horrible keepsake of Oakland. God, our neighborhood is harsh on the young and innocent. “The Kids” as we called them, left this morning by train to New York. Before coming to the Bay Area, they worked on a building project in New Orleans. Good, good, kids.

My rabbits are now proper butchering age. So it’s all rabbit, all the time. The other day I went over to my friend Jim’s house (he’s a goat advisor) and brought a picnic lunch. It was so good. Here’s the recipe, adapted from The River Cottage Meat Cookbook:
1. kill and clean one rabbit
2. liberally salt, pepper and oil the bunny.
3. pick fennel stalk from local fennel growing area.
4. wrap the rabbit in the fennel stalks
5. then wrap in bacon
6. place rabbit in a deep baking pan
7. pour a splash of wine and 1 cup chix/duck/veg stock over rabbit
8. bake at 350 for about an hour
9. cut into pieces like chicken
The rabbit meat soaks in all the fennel flavor, the bacon mellows that, and there’s a pool of yummy drippings to pour over the meat. We ate it with cucumber tomato salad and a crusty baguette.

For those of you wondering how the pigs are doing, here’s a statistical report:
Number of 15 gallon buckets eaten every day: 6
Loaves of bread eaten (each, per day): 3
Bags (think black plastic garbage bag size) of sawdust and bedding used per week: 8
Average length of a pig nap: 20 minutes
Number of naps taken over the course of the day: 20
Weight: 200 lbs each
Back fat, inches: 2
Flies attracted: 1,200
Number of visits by neighborhood kids: twice a week
Days left before I’m taking them up north for slaughter: 19

For you Bay Area folk: I’m screening a documentary I made (just finished editing, pant pant) this Saturday. It’s about urban farming programs in Venezuela. Like Chavez or hate him, some of his social programs freaking rule. There will be other movies about urban farming all over the world. Here are the details:

City Slicker Farms
Sustainability Film Screening
Please join us on Saturday August 18th at 6:30 pm for an outdoor screening of films focusing on urban farming and the
lives that are affected by food justice movements all over the world. By exposing more community members to
sustainable practices we hope to raise awareness of the need to grow organic and healthy produce in all communities.

Featuring: Local Organic Food Tastings, Local Artists, and Urban Farming Documentaries
Saturday August 18th 6:30 – 10:00
The Secret Garden 5105 Genoa Street
North Oakland, CA
$15
NO ONE TURNED AWAY
Bring your own cup, cushion, or blanket.
Valet bicycle parking or please park on MLK, West St.
or Market St.
Call us for more information 510-763-4241 or email us
at
cityslickerfarms@riseup.net

My sister’s so cool. She talked her way into the beekeepers collective store near her home in the south of France, and got me some bee goodies. One is this bee gate. Last time I went to France, a local beekeeper gave us a tour of his bee set-up. He was so enthusiastic, he said beekeeping is the best job ever. The bee gates, he explained, are for when you move the hives. Usually, around here at least, most beekeepers staple wire mesh over the entrance of the hive. But then, as I discovered, the task of prying the staples off while bees are inside, pissed at you for being sequestered for so long, becomes daunting. With this gate, you mount screws on either side of the box, then flip them around once you’ve moved the box. Brilliant! She also sent some cool old “miel” stickers. Thanks Riana!